Perhaps it’s a tautology, but you can’t fake authenticity. Drawing it out isn’t always easy, though. All of us, whether we realize it or not, have over the course of our lives built up a persona, a mask of sorts, as a way to protect ourselves from criticism or ridicule—real or imagined. Nowhere does this protective mask show up more reliably than when there’s a camera around. With authentic portraiture, the photographer strives to lift up the mask just long enough to capture the real person underneath.

There are two occasions on which our mask disappears. One is only very briefly during unguarded moments, such as when we are distracted by something, or deep in thought. The other time is when we feel genuinely safe—from judgment, criticism, or ridicule—in an environment of complete acceptance.

“In portraiture, the photographer acts like a mirror for the subject—not just in posing, but emotionally as well. Becoming someone at ease is a journey that begins within. It starts with a desire to be so at peace with yourself that your internal state reflects back to the subject and conveys a sense of kindness, acceptance, and love. This is one of the reasons why I find portrait photography to be less of a craft and more of a calling—what the world needs more than ever is people who share, project, and reflect love into others in an authentic way.” — Chris Orwig, Authentic Portraits

As the photographer, it is my job to ensure that our portrait shoot is a safe space where you can simply be yourself, without judgment of any kind. You need to know in your heart of hearts that I’m not trying to embarrass you, or make you look silly or unattractive. On the contrary, I’m trying to catch that most elusive essence that is your uniquely beautiful spirit, and have it shine out through the photo. And since the photographer acts as a mirror, I must be my most authentic self as well. To the extent that I feel comfortable and at peace with myself, I will project that to you in a way that I hope will make you feel comfortable and at peace as well. Once that is established, it takes away the anxiety of having your portrait taken, and the end result will be the better for it.

Too often, portrait photography is seen as transactional: you give me your face, and I take a picture of it; I tell you how to pose, and you change your posture. But really that’s not how it works at all. A portrait is—or should be—a collaboration between photographer and subject. That collaboration can feel different depending on how we connect. Sometimes it feels like a dialogue, sometimes a like dance, and other times it may feel like a quiet meditation. The important thing to understand is that as the subject, you are an active participant in the process. We will spend most of our time simply conversing with each other while trying a few different natural poses—and hopefully make that deeper connection that lets the camera capture not just the light that reflects off your face and body, but also that which emanates from within.

The social psychologist Charles Cooley wrote, “We define ourselves through our perceptions of what others think of us.” He had a name for this phenomenon, “the looking-glass self”. So when we see a portrait of ourselves, we judge it not by how our friends see us, but how we imagine our friends see us. We may think the portrait in which we have a bit of a forced facial expression makes us look cool, and that the one where we’re just being our natural selves looks awkward. It’s the same phenomenon as being embarrassed by a recording of our own voice. But if we asked our friends which of those two portraits is the most interesting and attractive, they would pick the authentic one every time. It may be an acquired taste to you—at first you might not like it much, but it will grow on you and you will come to love it, especially once you start getting positive feedback from others.